Thousands of Canadians have now returned to their homeland after a raucous time in Las Vegas at the world’s largest and most prestigious weed expo.
The cannabis industry trade show brought in 25,000 attendees from around the world, with Canadians flooding in to Sin City to take part in the annual event.
Although the event organizers built a tunnel to help Canadians subvert the dominant US border paradigm, many others simply entered the US by car or airplane without incident, largely because they weren’t total morons who admitted to something stupid like investing in a US company that is violating US federal law.
Nonetheless, the Canadian media has decided to highlight these few random idiots who apparently didn’t read a newspaper over the past several months as this issue was repeatedly highlighted; Don’t visit the United States for the purpose of doing illegal business and you should be fine.
One Canadian who was turned away at the border, receiving a lifetime ban from the US, says he had no idea it was frowned upon to visit the US for the purposes of investing in an illegal industry.
“I thought weed was legal in the US?,” says Donny Derpo, who was turned away at the US border this past weekend after admitting he was traveling to the states to “buy tons of dank nugs and get just totally fucking shitfaced.”
“Was that wrong?”, asked Derpo. “Should I have not done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started investing in illegal US weed companies in contravention of stated US policy, that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, because I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.”
Derpo says he didn’t want to visit the US anyway.
“It’s a stupid country, next time I’m going to Malta.”
*Never admit to reading satirical verp articles when crossing the border.