First cannabis fatality after person jumps out of window to avoid listening to weed hipster bemoan legal cannabis

The first fatality connected to the legalization of cannabis in Canada is sending shock waves through the community and sending policy makers scrambling to see what went wrong.

Late Friday night one as-yet-unidentified Canadian male described as being in his twenties apparently leapt from a 10th story condominium near downtown Toronto to, according to eyewitnesses, avoid having to listen to another minute of the dronings of a weed hipster explaining how this is “fake legalization”.

“Yeah, I was at the party, and there was this one guy just going on and on and on about how legal marijuana isn’t good and it’s too expensive,” said one party goer interviewed by verp at the scene on a condition of anonymity.

“Everyone was clearly bored and annoyed by the guy, and at one point he seemed to have found someone he was able to pin in a corner to listen to his diatribe. But then the next thing you know, the guy was climbing out of a window screaming ‘shut up, shut up, i don’t care, just shut up!’ before leaping from the window ledge. It was surreal.”

Police are remaining tight-lipped about specifics around the incident, but quickly issued a press release that said “We told you this would happen if you made marihuanas legal, but would you listen? Nooooo.”.

The annoying weed hipster allegedly the trigger of the fatality was unavailable for comment. Some party goers said they saw him slink quietly into the condo elevator and make a hasty retreat back to a Kensington Ave squat.

*Don’t be a weed hipster. No one likes a weed hipster. Just don’t do it!

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