Ontario, BC to introduce virtual cannabis stores

Ontario and British Columbia say they will be soon unveiling new “virtual cannabis stores” for their populations to experience what it’s like to buy cannabis in a brick and mortar setting, as will be the case IRL in at least a few other provinces.

While BC is expected to maybe have one or two legal stores available on Oct 17, these stores will not be accessible to most of the province. Ontario has announced they don’t expect any retail stores to be in place until well into 2019. Both provinces will have online sales available, managed by the province.

In order to address this gap in access, the premiers of both these provinces say they have spent months designing and developing the new ‘virtual stores‘ that will allow consumers to experience what it’s like to buy legal cannabis at a store.

“This will give our citizens and residents an opportunity to experience what it would be like to live in a province with a government who can both plan ahead and implement in a timely manner,” said BC Premier John Horgan in a joint press release with Ontario Premier Doug Ford.

“While British Columbia clearly doesn’t fall in that category at this time, this will allow our residents to at least experience this in a virtual setting,” continued BC’s Premier.

Ford said the project has cost both of the provinces several million dollars, but emphasized that this was necessary for his province because of the negligence of the previous Ontario Liberal government.

The virtual stores will allow people at home who have a VR setup to experience what it’s like to buy cannabis over the counter, even though they will be buying online from the provincial online portals. Consumers will be virtually greeted by a guy with sleeve tattoos and dreadlocks who will walk them through the differences between indica and sativa.

Meanwhile, the premiers of New Brunswick and Alberta have been heckling the BC and Ontario premiers’ plan.

“What’s so hard about building stores? We’ve been ready for months now.”

* This satirical article was written on a virtual typewriter. 

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