A local man who was given a free joint—rolled by the prime minister himself, from his own private home grow—says it “wasn’t very good.”
John Jackson, who lives in Mississauga, was given the joint recently by the prime minister as a gift during a chance encounter on the street.
“I was just walking to the hardware store and who do I see walking towards me on the street, surrounded by a bunch of people, but Prime Minister Justin Trudeau himself!” Jackson told verp.
“Now, I remember his dad, Pierre. Now there was a real man’s man, you know? But anyway, so i goes up to the Prime Minister to shake his hand, you know, and he was all friendly like, and I made a joke about legalization, and he slipped me this little doobie.”
Jackson said that although he appreciated the free joint, he was disappointed by its quality.
“So I took it home and smoked it with the missus, and I have to say, it wasn’t very good. Not terrible, mind you. It certainly did the trick! But it didn’t taste all that great, maybe wasn’t cured properly, and the roll was bad, it kept canoeing on us. Also, he didn’t use hemp rolling papers.
“All in all, I’d have to say, maybe it was a six out of ten? Really, I expect a lot more from this government than a poorly-rolled mid-grade joint, you know? This is 2018, I pretty much exclusively do dabs these days, anyway.”
Verp reached out to Trudeau’s office for comment and received this response:
“The office of Justin Trudeau is sorry to hear that Mr Jackson did not appreciate the free, hand-rolled joint the prime minister handed to him on the street. We will take every effort to pass Mr Jackson’s displeasure at this amazing gesture on to Mr Trudeau. In the future, we will advise Mr Trudeau not to give Mr Jackson anything for free, especially weed from his own personal home grow, sung to every night by Sophie herself. Maybe Andrew Scheer can hook you up next time.”
*This satirical article is, like, an analogy, man.