Guy says he doesn’t want to be nominated for your stupid awards anyway

A person who was not nominated for an award he originally hoped to be nominated for says he doesn’t want to be nominated for some stupid award, anyway.

“Cannabis awards are a dime a dozen, so who cares about some stupid reward anyway?,” said Guy Jackerson on a Facebook post on his Facebook page recently.

Jackerson, of course, is the world famous cannabis guru of all things cannabis. Anyone unfamiliar with Jackerson’s work is clearly a noob or an empty suit. Or both.

Previously, though, Jackerson had hoped to be nominated.

“It angers me that I wasn’t nominated for these stupid cannabis awards,” read a previous Facebook post by the same person just a few days earlier. “Seeing as I am a true pioneer legacy craft visionary who has been crusading since most of these ‘industry leaders’ were all busy throwing people like me in prison—up until last week when they all got jobs as cannabis CEOs—I demand to be nominated! Someone nominate me!!”

In a follow-up interview with verp, Jackerson said he was at first trying to get people to nominate him because he felt he deserved credit for all his tireless pioneering. But after some careful consideration (that just happened to coincidentally line up with the confirmation that he was, indeed, not nominated) the legacy craft pioneer crusader says he decided he would rather not take part in such egotistical follies.

“These are just stupid popularity contests that companies create so they can generate more attention. Am I the only one smart enough to see this? Even if I was nominated, I would refuse. If elected, I would not serve.”

Although the specific awards in question are unknown since there are currently 17 different awards running at the same time with an arguably confusing average of over 50 nominations per category, some speculate that Jackerson is referring to the Canadian Cannabis Awards in the Field of Amazing Excellence. But others say it’s clearly the Excellence in Cannabis Awards of Canada. Still others vociferously claim it’s the Amazingly Canadian Cannabissian Excellence Awards.

“All of them are garbage,” says Jackerson. “Unless…. you want to nominate me this time?”

*The Verp Awards of Satirical Disregard, aka The Verpies, will be accepting nominations on November 1. Jackerson has asked that you nominate him. 


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