Cannabis company’s top secret plans for pre-roasted cannabis exposed

A Canadian company’s plans for an exclusive line of pre-roasted cannabis was leaked today by an intrepid blogger who utilized a team of spies to gain access to the highly secured facility.

ShortingDerper, the Twitter-based blogger who monitors the Canadian cannabis stock market, released the exclusive report detailing CranApple Girth Enterprises’ ongoing efforts to develop a new genetically-modified cannabis plant that develops into a pre-roasted bud to be marketed as ToasterBud™.

CranApple Girth was not speaking to the media about the news release, but word in the industry is they have spent several years partnering with Monsanto to develop the exclusive Toasterbud technology. The product could have a diverse range of consumer applications, from being mixed with coffee or tea to being processed in oils, imparting a smokey, hazelnut flavour, or rolled in large cigars.

“I just want to bring more truth and transparency to the industry,” ShortingDerper told verp in an exclusive interview in a basement in Oshawa. “I am in no way motivated by any desire to short the company in my posting this information, I just found the technology amazing and wanted to share it with the world!”

Meanwhile, Aurora is said to already be scrambling to secure their own roasted cannabis strain by making an offer to buy Monsanto in an all-share deal amounting to, on paper, tens of millions of dollars.

The date that ToasterBud™ will reach the consumer market is unknown, but stay tuned to verp and DerpingShorter for more breaking details.

Toasterbud Cannabis Company, a BC-based micro craft legacy former grey black market operation, was unavailable for comment at press time. They are not associated with CranApple Girth.

*ToasterBud™ is excellent on a bagel with some vegemite and broccoli paste. 

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