Canada announces ‘Stop Self Snitching’ campaign for US border crossings

The Government of Canada announced today their new campaign to protect Canadians and others who will be crossing the US/Canadian border after marijuana becomes legal in Canada.

The Stop Self Snitching campaign is being launched by Transport Canada to encourage anyone who is crossing the border from Canada into the United States to not admit to ever using or even hearing of cannabis before.

The program, says Transport Minister Marc Garneau, is being launched to help protect both Canadians from lifetime bans to the US for admitting to knowing what cannabis is, as well as to protect American tourists who may have tried some legal reefer while on their visit before returning to the land of Trump.

“It’s critically important Canadians crossing the border into the United States understand they shouldn’t snitch on themselves,” Garneau told verp. “If a US border guard asks you about weed, pot, marijuana, may jane, cannabis….whatever they call it. Just play dumb. It’s as simple as that.

“Self snitching,” continued the Transport Minister, “we gotta dead that shit from the jump. Like… just imagine you’re like, a teenager and the border guard is your dad. Just smile innocently and say ‘oh yeah, I don’t do that stuff, I hear it’s really bad and leads to terrible life decisions’, something like that.”

Transport Canada is already beginning to instal signage at every major port of entry leading into the United States shaped like stop signs with a cannabis leaf on them and bright red letters that say STOP SELF SNITCHING.

More information will soon be available at stopselfsnitching.gov.ca

*This is a satirical article, but seriously folks… stop self snitching.

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