A guy in British Columbia who smokes a lot of weed says literally no one he knows will be buying from legal stores after October 17, leading to a total failure for the Liberal government.
Chad Bumbersnack, a 26 year old self-proclaimed “cannabis connoisseur” who lives on Vancouver Island, and who says he smokes weed every day and knows everything there is to know about cannabis, claims that no one he knows or who posts on his private Facebook group will buy legal weed after October 17, when the new law comes into force.
“Literally every one of my five friends and all 17 people on my private Facebook group will refuse to buy this overpriced irradiation crap they call ‘legalization'”, Bumbersnack tells verp. “Cannabis connoisseurs like myself use MOMs and dispensaries or grow our own. And without me and my group of friends legalization will literally fail.”
Bumbersnack, who works part time as a roofer’s apprentice’s assistant, says that Justin Trudeau doesn’t understand the cannabis culture and that people who smoke pot will refuse, en masse, to buy from government stores run by the police who used to arrest them.
“Cannabis connoisseurs like myself use MOMs and dispensaries or grow our own. And without me and my group of friends legalization will literally fail.”
“These ‘legal’ stores,” says Chad, making air quotes when he says ‘legal’, “they are all owned by Liberal cronies and cops and they are all being forced to sell cannabis at $10 a gram, which is outrageous! Literally no one pays that for weed! Ever! Maybe if the government hired some people like me they would know this.”
The self proclaimed expert in all things weed says he expects most legal cannabis stores to be closed within two months of legalization as he and his friend’s hold fast with their boycott.
“Without me and my friends, legalization will fail. It’s as simple as that. And if prices aren’t fifty cents a gram, it will also fail.”
*The legal satire market will never replace black market satire