Verp announces invite-only Bildurrverp Grove executive retreat

Here at verp we’ve been hearing from a lot of folk that there just aren’t enough professional conferences, expos, and congresses in the Canadian cannabis industry.

We’ve also heard from several people, especially after the ICBC that just happened in Vancouver, that these events simply aren’t expensive or exclusive enough.

And finally, we’ve heard that the public nature of these events, alongside their location in large population centres, means that it’s really hard to find any time or space to barter corporate secrets and pen ethically questionable multibillion-dollar backroom deals.  

Taking these issues to hand, verp is proud to announce that the first ever invite-only Bildurrverp Grove executive retreat will be taking place this September 1st–3rd at the beautiful and extremely secluded Nootka Island lodge in Nuu Chah Nulth territory off the rugged east coast of Vancouver Island.

Nootka Island offers several key features that you won’t find in a more traditional convention centre.

Instead of milling around in a large echochamber full of rabble and riffraff, instead of drowning in a pile of business cards you didn’t ask for, imagine the conversations you could have, the lifelong friendships you could build, while hiking through untouched old growth rainforest, whale watching, fishing for salmon, eating salmon, and getting shitfaced after dinner.

Other relationship building exercises will include primal scream therapy, nightly worship of a large firelit broccoli statue, and the enactment of a creepy play/ritual called The Sacred Rite of the Red Dot by participants on the final day.  

At the end of the gathering, participants will be taught the verp secret handshake and passphrase, and gifted an elegant and exclusive Bildurrverp Grove red dot lapel pin that will ensure you get the deference you deserve at other less important, less exclusive cannabis conferences.

Bildurrverp Grove admittance is limited to twenty people. Admission is a steal at $3000 CDN, and includes seaplane fare from your choice of Vancouver, Victoria, or Seattle harbours to the lodge, as well as meals, fishing, and whale watching.   

* This article is satire but I could totally make it happen for next year if enough people are interested! Anyone know where I can get a large concrete broccoli statue?

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