Conservative Senators doing their best to put the final nail in the coffin of the Canadian Senate

The Canadian Senate, which has for years been a controversial and not entirely popular group of unelected policy makers, finds itself in the hot seat once again as the Red Chamber debates the Cannabis Act.

After delaying and grandstanding with the legalization bill since last November, Conservative Canadian Senators have begun a last-ditch effort in the past week to gut or even tank the legislation by hurling every possible amendment at it they can, sometimes repeatedly—hoping to catch a few napping Independent Senators unaware— before sending it back to the House.

These deeply partisan obstruction techniques continue to rub Canadians the wrong way. Depending on the poll, opposition for the Canadian Senate already hovers around the 40% mark. Meanwhile, support for cannabis legalization hovers around 45-60%, with opposition to legalization around 35%.

Some see this last ditch effort to kill a wildly popular campaign promise by the current majority Liberal government as a backdoor mechanism to destroy support for the Canadian Senate once and for all.

Eric Schirph, a policy analyst with Conservative think tank Piloter, says that word on the street in Ottawa is the Conservatives are voting as a block to try and destroy legalization not only because they hate the devil’s lettuce, but because they hate the Senate in general.

“Look, Conservatives hate weed,” says Schirph. “This we know. Most prefer to guzzle down gallons of booze. But what they also hate is the Senate. They’ve tried to get rid of it for years, and what internal polling shows is that the Senate screwing up legalization might push support for abolishing the Senate over the top.”

Because abolishing the Senate requires unanimous approval from all 10 provinces and the federal Parliament, the efforts by the Conservatives to destroy it have always failed. But with this legalization legislation, the Conservatives apparently think they can piss off enough of Canada to make it happen.

“Muahahahaha! My plan is unfolding perfectly!” said former Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper from behind a curtain.

* This satire is an article.

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