Conservatives throw low level staffer under the bus for doing their bidding

The Conservatives threw a low level staffer hired on contract under the bus today after a memo he circulated received criticism for being stupid and racist.

Sen. Claude Carignan, the Conservative lead in the Conservative wing of the senate’s obstinate partisan opposition to legalization, claims he did not authorize a guy named Malcolm Armstrong, whom he’d hired to advise him on how to screw up legalization, to propose delaying the vote.

“I have no idea who this guy even is,” Carignan probably told a group of reporters at a press conference. “It’s entirely a coincidence that the tone and content of the memo perfectly matches the Conservative Party’s idiotic and hysteria-based opposition to legalization,” he probably continued.

The memo contained language that encouraged Independent senators to delay passing the bill, and claimed indigenous communities were “negatively predisposed to cannabis, like alcohol.”

The senate has had the Cannabis Act, Bill C-45, in front of them since late last year, but has dealt with numerous partisan games and delays from the Conservatives, who are hell bent on standing in the way of the removal of prohibition, which they generally say is ‘working great’.

“Prohibition is working great” Carignan pretty much said a few months ago. “The Liberals just aren’t giving prohibition time to really work. We’re just finally seeing results, and now they want to pull the rug out from under Canadian youth.”

Verp caught up with a person who claimed to be Malcolm Armstrong at a coffee shop in Ottawa.

“Yeah man, they hired me to help them delay legalization. And now they are firing me for helping them to delay legalization. Oh well, that’s politics!,” he concluded before being literally thrown under the 11 bus by a mysterious, bespectacled man.

*The names are real, the quotes are fake. Probably. 

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