NB Minister of Health to senate committee on legalization: “Look, we really need this to happen. Fast”

New Brunswick’s Minister of Health, Benoît Bourque, addressed the Senate Standing Committee on Social Affairs, Science and Technology earlier today making a strong case for the health of his province’s financials.

“Look, we’re already a quarter million in the hole on public education,” said Bourque, “and we got a sweet royalty deal with LPs to deal with that, but we need to start moving product sometime soon if we’re going to recoup our initial investment before the fiscal year is up. Fact is, our party’s goose is cooked if this isn’t all sorted out by next Septembers provincial election.  

“And I don’t know if you all are aware,” he continued, “but my province doesn’t exactly have cash to burn if you senators decide to take forever and a day on this thing. We’re already in this up to our necks!”

At this point committee chair Art Eggleton reminded everyone that they would have to go to bed late without dinner and possibly miss Matlock unless the meeting was over soon, since they needed to break for voting.

Conservative senator Nancy Greene Raine took this opportunity to shout “Everybody google ‘amotivational syndrome’ right now!”

This somehow led to the final round of questioning, which centred around how Minister Bourque felt legalization would affect the province’s indigenous people.

“Well, he replied, ”the people I’ve spoken with are the same as everyone else, they’d like to hurry up and start seeing some returns on this thing before the year is out.”

The Senate Standing Committee on Social Affairs, Science and Technology will meet again to discuss Bill C-45 tomorrow at 10:30 am Eastern Daylight Time.

* Blurring the line between reality and satire, in a good way.

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