Aurora executives wake up confused after buying 5 more LPs

Executives at Aurora say they were surprised to see a press release this morning announcing that the BC-based company had purchased five licensed producers.

The press release, announcing that the company had sealed the deal on the purchase of five different producers in three different provinces, was posted this morning at 2:30 am EDT, but when reached for comment at 9 AM, executives at Aurora sounded confused and surprised.

“Uhh, we did?’ said an audibly-disheveled Peter McPhearson, Chief Acquisition Officer for Aurora. “Yeah, that kinda rings a bell. We were out at a pub late last night, and I vaguely remember someone mentioning it as a joke. But I guess we actually went through with it. Crazy. Onward and upward!”

Aurora has been on a buying spree of late, scooping up a production facility in Montreal late last year, a hostile takeover of first-ever LP CanniMed, and recently rumoured to be acquiring Ontario producer MedReleaf, so the move doesn’t come as a huge surprise.

Nonetheless, five producers overnight was a surprise to some industry analysts who say the company is at risk of over-extending itself.

Chad Jackson of Jackson, Jackson and Jackson in Toronto says these kinds of impulse buys might appeal to consumer investors, but he worries that they may be over-playing their hands as the industry moves towards a state of overproduction.

“People all say there will be a product shortage,” says Jackson, “but I’m a contrarian so I say there will be no product shortage. As an analyst, I find it’s good to zag when others zig, because it gets you good press. So while everyone says there’s product shortages expected for the next few years, I say there’s already too much weed in the market, and buys like this will only mean that Aurora will be bankrupt by the end of 2018.”

* Dude, where’s my satire?

3 comments

  1. Bob Reply

    The actual joke to this is, every time a LP buys another established LP that is already grown out and selling product, Puts absolutely no more added product into Canada’s Legal weed supply. These are useless acquisitions and mergers other them the paper stock they create, again these are worthless business transactions that add no product to the supply, and will drive up Cannabis cost to the consumer, and will eventually create a negative Supply only months into legalization.

    • Pauline Reply

      Excellent point Bob. This aquosition does nothing for increasing the cannabis supply OR to help the environment.

      • Greed is God Reply

        Because there’s never any efficiency created by amalgamating management teams, company divisions (like HR, legal, accounting), sharing genetics, patient data, case studies combining specific genetics with patient data…

        No benefit whatsoever from a centralized repository of knowledge, instead of fractured industry silos.

        /s

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