Horgan reveals personal hookup named Betty, frustrating province’s legal retailer

British Columbia Prime Minister John Horgan revealed his pot plug in a press conference today, disclosing that he prefers to buy his weed from a woman named Betty, from Sooke BC.

Although the Premier quickly tried to backtrack his comments, stating they were made in the abstract and did not reflect his own personal preference, everyone in the audience knew what he meant. Sooke BC is in the Langford-Juan de Fuca riding won by Horgen by a significant margin in the 2017 election.

Steve Bigby of East Vancouver, who was announced earlier this year as the province’s preferred dealer, has already voiced his frustration at the Premier’s disclosure, saying this highlights one of the big challenges he faces in providing a legal supply of cannabis for BC.

“How am I supposed to compete with someone like Betty from Sooke when she can provide everything consumers demand, while I still don’t even have guidance from the province on how I can source legal product,” Steve told verp reporter Brock Kentman in a phone interview.

“The province has completely dropped the ball so far,” continued Steve. “Other provinces have already passed legislation and here in BC, the world’s capital for all things cannabis, we don’t even know what the rules will be! And now the premier is irresponsibly promoting dangerous, unregulated black market dealers like Betty from Sooke! Meanwhile, they’re lowballing growers  on wholesale prices. It’s like they want this to fail before it starts.”

For her part, Betty from Sooke appeared equally unhappy about Premier Horgan blowing up her spot, posting to twitter that she is “not pleased.”

In an exclusive phone interview with verp, Betty expanded even further on her frustrations with Horgan’s surprise disclosure.

“Old Johnny’s a good boy. Cute kid, really. But when his friend Terry brought him by here last year I could tell he was going to be trouble. Some kids just don’t know how to keep their traps shut, you know?

“I’ve been growing and selling primo dope here in Sooke for 20 years and it’s strictly a word-of-mouth operation. I should have gone with my instinct and not sold any to John, but I guess in my old age I was getting soft.”

Betty says she’ll now have to break down the entire operation she runs with her grandson, changing her name and moving to a new town.

“It’s unfortunate, but loose lips sink ships,” says Betty. “I’d rather be safe than sorry. And with this horribly inept legal cannabis rollout here in BC, I’m obviously going to be busy for a long time, supplying everyone with their top shelf, organic, craft BC Bud.”

*The real news market will fail if it can’t compete with the satire industry


    • Corey Balderdaski

      You mean the party that isn’t in power, Sue? Yes, traditionally one criticises the party who is actually in power and responsible for decisions.

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