Balmoral Puff makes patent claim on 420 “Love Cannon”

Balmoral Puff, a Canadian luxury cannabis lifestyle dispensary, announced today the acquisition of a patent for a new cannabinoid-delivery device called the Love Cannon.

The device—a leaf blower modified to have a large bowl on the back for incinerating cannabis into a smoke form at high volume and then shooting it out through the front—is being hailed by Balmoral Puff executives as a promising new mode of delivery for essential cannabinoids.

The Love Cannon was popularized at this year’s Vancouver 420 event on Sunset Beach where an unidentified inventor demonstrated a prototype made with a battery-powered Ryobi leaf blower. Balmoral Puff, however, says they have actually been working on a prototype themselves for several years, have already acquired a patent on the device, and are now seeking approval form Health Canada to market it.

Balmoral CEO William Plantagenet says they were concerned by the unlicensed prototype making it’s way into the market, but are confident that their patent will allow them to control the future leaf-blower-as-cannabis-device market.

“This is a product we have been working on since early 2016,” Plantagenet noted in a recent press release, “and I can assure you ours is much more refined than the one you saw in Vancouver recently, and will be made of medical grade plastics and steel.”

Plantagenet says that the device will initially be marketed towards clumsy 20 year old cannabis users who may have trouble using new, complicated vaporizers or lack the dexterity to roll a joint.

“Our tests have shown this device can help deliver cannabinoids to up to 20 people in a 200 sq ft room, and we see it as ideal for use in frat houses and extended care facilities where medical cannabis users may be unable to inhale on their own.

“The future of cannabis isn’t joints or edibles. That’s the past! The future is large-scale cannabinoid room-infusion.”

* This article is satire and is not meant to take real credit away from the genius who actually made this thing happen: 

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