Round two in mysterious social media contest advances unwitting participants to next stage

Winners have now been announced in this weekend’s latest round of the social media popularity contest hosted by The Cannalysts.

Once again, Tina Phraser destroyed her competition, while Canopy-lackey Adam Greenblatt squeezed through a win, a jacked-up George Scorsis (CEO of Liberty Health Sciences) celebrated his second win, as did properly-British David Hyde from Hyde and Associates. 

The four had all gone up against, respectively, Deepak Anand from CCI, Dan Sutton form Tantalus, Alan Gertner for Tokyo Smoke, and Aaron Salz from the TV show The Wonder Years.

From the other side of the contest, Chuck Rifici, known illuminati mastermind, has fended off Jon Page from Anandia Labs, 7 Acres’ John Fowler handily disposed of Aurora’s Dark Lord Cam Battley, some guy named Todd Harrison beat some other guy named James West, and twitter account SaveStacks destroyed native Texan Alan Brochstein.

The contest, put on by reddit community TheCannalysts, has been pitting Canadian cannabis industry-focussed twitter accounts against each other in a popularity contest mimicking the annual sportsing event known as March Madness.

The next round will take place next weekend, pitting Rifici against Fowler, Harrison against SaveStacks, as well as Scrosis against Greenblatt, and Hyde against Fazer.

Frazer—who is a beloved industry lawyer and well-loved twitter personality, known for her biting critiques and social media shade-throwing—handily destroyed Anand and told verp in an exclusive interview that she expects to “eviscerate” David Hyde in the next round.

“I’m taking this whole thing—bet on that. Bet on that!” Fazer yelled as she jumped up on her desk, kicking over a cafe latte in the process. “And my fucking name is TRINA. With an R, for fuck’s sake! Not Teena! Now get the hell out of my office before I call security!”

Greenblatt was found celebrating his victory along with Chuck Rifici at an underground dab bar in Ottawa where the two were planning Chuck’s next move to control the global cannabis industry through the use of chemtrails, HAARP, and subliminal hockey branding.

“No comment” said the two as they both deeply inhaled the terpiest derby derbs this side of BC from a dual-nozzled dab rig. Greenblatt had been accused of doping in the wake of his win in the last round, but no penalties have been formally issued. 

The next round of voting in this Cannalusts thing should be next week. David Hyde is said to have hired extra security for himself next week to ensure Fraser doesn’t hit him in the leg with a crowbar.

“Proper security protocol is paramount at this stage of the application process…. I mean competition, and I’m not taking no shorts,” Hyde told verp. “If Tina thinks she can Nancy Kerrigan me, she’ll have to talk to my bodyguards and the level 9 vault I’ll be hiding in all week.”

* Is satrical coverage of satirical events still satire? 

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