Hockey rinks across Canada disappearing in preparation for legalization

Hockey rinks all over Canada are being quickly purchased by would-be pot growers after a new government announcement this week, and not everyone is happy with the trend.

Health Canada released an outline of proposed regulations on Monday, providing the industry with an idea of what regulations will look like once legislation gets the blessed by the Queen and becomes law.

Among the highlights to the proposed regulations was the inclusion of hockey rink-sized grows called ‘micro’ grows. The announcement has already set in motion a land-rush of sorts for hopeful pot growers who are swooping up any available hockey rinks they can find.

Madeline Aldergrove, a part time landscaper in Vancouver, British Columbia, says she has been eyeing a hockey rink about an hour from her home that she thinks would be an excellent spot for a grow operation. Once she finds the right hockey rink, she says she wants to start a small family business.

“I’ve never grown pot before, but I really love growing plants of all kinds, especially roses. And my grandson, Jim, he loves pot. So I figured this could be a fun business for the two of us. His mom is so busy these days working four jobs so she can afford to live in Vancouver, and this could be a great way to keep an eye on Jim.”

“People are seeing that for the low price of a local hockey rink, they too can find a place in the great Canadian cannabis green rush!”

The move, though, is not sitting well with all Canadians.

Algernon McKellerski, an MP representing Manitoba’s Dauphin-St. Paul region, says the loss of hockey rinks is just another casualty of the Liberal government’s reckless plans to make cannabis legal.

“This is just another casualty of this Justin Trudeau’s reckless need to make weed legal,” McKellerski told verp. “He’s being reckless with this reckless legalization, and hockey is as Canadian as maple syrup. We’re losing our heritage.”

Tessy Campbellton, president of the Canadian Hockey Preservation League, agrees. Based in Moncton, New Brunswick, the CHPL has been in operation in Canada for over 200 years. Campbellton says that hockey defines what it means to be Canadian, and the rush to grow marijuana inside hockey rinks will be a terrible blow to Canadian culture.

“Losing hockey in Canada would be like losing baseball in the United States, even though baseball was invented in Canada,” says Campbelton. “Every single Canadian is required to play at least five years of hockey before they turn 21, and this new law will make that a hard quota to meet for many small town Canadians.”

Meanwhile, at least one real estate agent says she’s already receiving calls from dozens of prospective pot producers who are looking for any available hockey rinks for sale.

“It’s crazy. My phone started ringing off the hook today around 4 o’clock,” says Judy Jackson, a real estate agent with Jackson, Jackson and Pollock in downtown Toronto. JJ&P services the entire southern Ontario region with commercial real estate needs.

“People are seeing that for the low price of a local hockey rink, they too can find a place in the great Canadian cannabis green rush!”

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