With legalization just (hopefully) a few months away, provinces and many municipalities are wrestling with the prospect of implementing and managing brand new systems to deal with a brand new economy.
One of the big questions remaining is how these new systems will succeed or fail in displacing well-established black markets.
With this in mind, verp hit the street outside last weekend’s Cannabis Canada Forum to ask folks where they plan to get their weed when legalization comes into effect.
Kahled (22) Marketing Executive
Bruh I love the terpy-derbs, those derpy terpy terps in dabby dabs bruh. Terp terp derp derp bruh, eh? How’m I gonna derp terps if I can’t burp terpy derbs at the government store eh bruh? Eh?
Emily (19) Booth Attendant
I’m just going to keep stealing roaches out of my dad’s ashtray.
Frank (42) Panhandler
There’s a grow in my neighborhood that just dumps all their trim in the bushes behind the Walmart parking lot. A whole bunch of us just get our smoke there for free. I take that shit home and make it into 500mg gummy bears. Want one?
Eugenia (35) Accountant
Retail cannabis prices are already obscene. The legal and grey markets have also been driving the wholesale cost of cannabis down on the black market for the last 20 years—this trend will continue. Why would I pay 10, or even 5 dollars per gram at a retail outlet that is likely to suffer regular product outages when I can buy a pound of something I know I like on the black market at a cost of $2.20 per gram, or even lower? Preposterous.
Harry (39) Aristocrat
Well I’ve been simply loving slumming it in the ACMPR. It’s really fab given the lack of luxury options currently available. My personal doctor has signed me up for literally every single LP, so the selection is amazing. But I must say, I truly am looking forward to the launch of Balmoral Puff’s new line of luxury cannabis that’s been partially digested by rare tropical civets.
Dennis (50) Activist
Fuck you verp assholes! Goddamn corporate shill media. Everyone knows you’re in Rifici’s pocket like everyone else. People are dying!
* The black market for satire will continue to thrive for many years.