British Columbia welcomes the arrival of much needed cannabis plants

Tweed Inc has shipped a plane load of cannabis plants from Ontario, Canada’s famous centre of all things cannabis, to the teetotalers of British Columbia this weekend.

Tweed, the cannabis giant based in Ontario, Canada, the ‘home of Canadian weed’, says they couldn’t find any good sources of cannabis in British Columbia and wanted to share some of Ontario’s bounty to help the western Canadian province make up for any lost revenue from unlaid oil pipelines.

“British Columbia isn’t really known for quality weed like Ontario is,” said Tweed in an interview with verp. “And we figured since we have so much great cannabis here in Ontario, why not share it with other provinces? We know BC is hurting right now with their pipeline fight with Alberta, so we just wanted to do our part.”

The cannabis plants were seen at Vancouver airport this weekend taking pictures of all the amazing airport artwork and signing autographs with cannabis fans. They say they are excited to begin growing in a new climate like BC, where cannabis is still relatively unknown.

In order to secure the plants from drone theft, they will be secured in a greenhouse.

Carrie Cannabis, a small indica plant we interviewed while she was being quickly transported from the airport to a new greenhouse in Southern BC, says she thinks the Best Coast is ready for her kind, and hopes the region can learn to accept plants like herself.

“I grew up in Southern Ontario playing ice hockey and going to the family cabin in the summer to fish and hunt moose,” said Carrie. “I’m a patriotic Canadian, so I’m happy to help an up-and-coming province like British Columbia accept Ontario Bud.”

Although some other plants, as part of a native fauna rights group in British Columbia, set up a protest outside the airport, most British Columbians seem happy about the move and are eager to begin learning about this unique and exotic plant from abroad.

Larson Emory, leader of the Native BC Plants Rights group, the NBCPR, said that letting immigrant plants into BC unchecked like this is part of the Trudeau agenda to replace old stock BC Fauna like Garry oak and western redcedar.

“British Columbians don’t need foreign plants coming here and stealing our jobs,” yelled Emory in front of a group of native western Canadian plants. “First Giant Hogweed and Himalayan blackberry, and now Cannabis Sativa! No more!”

 

However, not all agree.

Tina Trimmer, who moved to Vancouver from Nelson, BC, says she’s excited to learn more about this new cannabis plant.

“British Columbia is all about accepting new things. I think we can learn to love this Ontario Bud. Who knows, maybe one day people will associate British Columbia with the kind of quality cannabis products they’re already so well known for in Ontario.”

 

* This post has been approved by the Craft Satire Association of British Columbia (CSABC). 

2 comments

  1. Boston John Reply

    THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. We don’t know what kinds of diseases these plants carry and they don’t know anything about our culture here in British Columbia. They’re just going come here and drive the cost of housing up even further. John Horgan is sleeping on the job and not protecting our interests here in BC!

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