Bordertown ON teetotalers offer to grow cannabis for people across the river in QC

The Glad Mornings Unitarian Church in the small town of Hawkesbury, Ontario, is reaching out to their neighbours across the Ottawa River in Grenville, Quebec, to lend a helping hand after legalization takes effect this summer.

When Gertrude Miller, 72, heard from one of her church fellows that people in Quebec will not be allowed to grow their own cannabis at home, she was a bit miffed.

“Me and the other church ladies, we don’t smoke cannabis, but we know there are lots of god-fearing souls across the river who do, and it’s just not fair that we should be allowed to grow our own here, while across the river they have to shell out their hard earned money for the same thing—money that could be used for food, heat, gas, or given to charity So me and the girls, we came up with a plan to help those people out.”

Gertrude and five other ladies from the church’s wednesday night needlepoint group banded together to form “Flowers for Fellowship,” a collective of green-thumbed teetotallers who are planning to use their own home-grow allowance of 4 plants to produce cannabis for die-hard stoners across the river in Quebec, where home-grow will not be allowed.

The organization is pairing each Ontario teetotaler with a cannabis connoisseur across the river, who will in turn supply the teetotaler with a small amount of cash to acquire starting materials and other grow supplies. The teetotaler will then use space that would have otherwise gone to blue-ribbon tomatoes to grow cannabis, while the Quebecois connoisseur agrees to grow an equivalent amount of prize-winning tomatoes in his or her own backyard to offset the Ontario gardener’s loss of garden space and ensure that they are still able to make a respectable entry in the local county fair’s prestigious tomato competition come harvest time.

“Come harvest time,” Gertrude tells verp, “we’ll just arrange to meet in the centre of the bridge for the exchange. They get their flowers, we get our tomatoes. Simple as that!”

When asked what she thought about any legal repercussions that might come from this arrangement, she simply chuckled and said “Oh Dear, the local police chief is my nephew. This is a very small town.”

* Don’t get your knickers in a knot dear, it’s just a bit of satire.


  1. Wanda Pollin Reply

    I think this is lovely. People should always be looking for ways to help each other.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *